A Different Kind of Pain

from Still Pissed by Apocalypse Tourism

	/

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lyrics

I want to forgive you for leaving me out in the cold
But the hurt of it all still lingers inside
I really do want to forgive, you know
How do I feel? Can't make up my mind

I admire you like no other,
but it just doesn't cancel out
All the pain that I hold on to
I can feel it in my gut

Dad, your negligence broke my heart
I wanted to cry out in the dark
I wanted to cry out for help
But I didn't think you'd come to save me
I've never trusted you like I do now
But this feeling of betrayal doesn't fade
I love you and I want to move on
From the hurt and the pain

Hey dad, I'll never understand why you didn't take me with you when you left
You walked out with her and I knew you weren't coming back
Hey dad, it's a different kind of pain
You made your choice and I wasn't saved

Dad, I love you, but how didn't you see
What my very own mother was doing to me
The sores, the bruises, I was dying inside
You could've been my savior but you didn't even try

Dad, I'm trying so hard every day
I know it's draining you but I don't know what to say
I just don't seem to measure up
It never seems to be enough
You push me to do my best
But what if my best isn't much?
Dad, please don't leave again
I need you and your love

Your denial broke my heart
But I still have sympathy
I wasn't the only one
Who got caught in the wake of her storm
All the feelings that still linger
Weigh me down like chains
I need to move forward, Dad
Can you help me find the way?

credits

from Still Pissed, released May 5, 2023

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Apocalypse Tourism Fredericksburg, Virginia

Solo indie project from FXBG

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